If you can keep your hypothesis, when all about you
Are scrapping theirs and saying you should too,
If you can trust your calculations when all PIs doubt you,
But make allowance for poor maths skills too;
If you can incubate, and not be tired by waiting,
Or review papers, and see though bare faced lies,
Or do westerns, and don’t give way to hating,
And not be too upset about your cell cultures demise:
The basics are as follows:
Human energy field/Aura/Reiki is a field of energy that surrounds and penetrates the body and also emit from every living thing (like the force, just less exciting). They even have a colour if you are particularly aware that depends on your base emotional state.
A healing touch practitioner is able to interact with this field and remove any blocks to the ‘vital flow of energy’ that a patient may have. This then allows the now considerably fiscally poorer patient to absorb more energy from the universe (I can only assume they mean background radiation) to speed up healing. All this without requiring any of that nasty medical equipment that would only clutter up the place, increase overheads and leave less space for fairy themed paraphernalia.
So it’s Christmas, meaning it’s time to trash your liver, grab fistfuls of butter in your chubby little hands before shovelling it in the general direction of your face. This of course climaxes in the alcohol-fogged turkey slugfest, over who has the rights to the last of the gravy and important life decisions such as whether it’s considered good form to stab someone in the face with a cheese knife for telling repetitive stories. After this, and only then, can people disperse (barring serious injuries in the previous melee) to their separate corners of the house and lick their wounds before getting down into a foetal position and sleeping like a baby.